Jobs Shortage, Family and Health Problams Blamed on Vivendi, Rockstar and EA

UK Contracting AgencyContractor UK says that there is the very real chance that there could be a shortage of IT jobs in the UK in ensuing years. However in Australia, this holiday season is shaping up to be far from merry for many IT Companies who are facing a resource shortage that they are finding hard to counter.

This year has seen some of the biggest releases in gaming history and as many of the much anticipated releases are about to hit the shelves, employers are saddling up for what is expected to be a rocky ride.

Australian software consultancy company DotDuck has already begun the hunt for staff in preperation for the Gaming silly season, as releases such as Microsoft's Halo2, Vivendi's Half-Life 2 and EA's Need for Speed Underground 2 approach.

A spokesman for the Industry has been quoted as saying "Annual leave for the weeks following November 16 have sky rocketed as it was confirmed that Half Life 2 would indeed be released on that date"

Further to these statements, CEO of IntelliWAre John Smith reported that staff were in fact leaving their jobs to cater for their gaming needs. "Some staff already used their annual leave with the release of ID Soft's Doom3, and Rockstars GTA: San Andreas, and rather than face the prospect of minimising game time to 5-6 hours per day we're finding that employees are just leaving. It sounds absurd but it really is happening"

Rather than try and compete with games, one IT company based in Sydney declared a company holiday the day GTA: San Andreas was released.

With a crisis looming, IT companies are starting to point the finger, and the consensus is that John Howard is to blame.
It is the belief of many companies that the Australian Welfare system is tailored to the simple lifestyle of the hard core gamer.

Most of the gamers are able to survive on the so called "Minimum" living allowance due to the fact that for the cost of a broadband adsl connection they are able to download more games than you can poke a preverbial stick at. Not only this but the minimalist lives led by a gamer is inexpensive as a Melbourne gamer "Randy" explains.

"Usually i game 20-22 hours a day, i expend very little energy so i don't need to sleep. Food is a snap as i can order pizza using vouchers for as little as $5 and because i dont shower i have no water bill. Electricity is a little pricy, as i have my xbox, pc, ps2 and plasma screen running 24 by 7, but this is offset by my phone bill. I have no friends so I don't make any calls. My parents occasionally call but I have caller ID so I don't need to talk to them."

"The last time i went outside was to buy a new stash of DVD-R's after my adsl connection was out for 3 days."

IT companies are saying this trend is on the rise with employee's realising that work offers little to no incentive when you can "get by" on the government handouts.
Colin Jones from ITSecure in Hobart argues "Even the best marketing in the world can't compete with free, and thats basically what the government is doing. Giving people free money"

The problems with employment however are not the only ugly heads raring with the gaming explosion. Mary from downtown Adelaide reports that her husband left her for his PS2.
"He simply said that his life as 'Carl Johnson' was much more exciting and Carl didn't nag like she did, let him play with guns and sleep with ho's"

A similar story was told by Donna of rural town Dubbo, who said the family's farm is being auctioned off this week after her husband Darryl refused to work on the farm after his copy of Doom3 arrived. "He just sat there and played for about 36 straight hours when it first arrived. We tried to get him to stop by turning the power off at the mains, but he got violent and tied us up in the bedroom. Luckily a neighbour found us and let us out, but Darryl barely batted an eyelid when he was summoned to appear at Dubbo court. He simply reloaded the BFG and said i'll be out when i finish this level"
That was 6 weeks ago, and Donna has since left.

Welfare groups are also joining the uprising, urging that legal restrictions be imposed on children playing games as one 14 year old was found slumped over his PS2 after having a heart attack. He had drunk 14 Red Bull energy drinks in less than 24 hours after going 38 hours without sleep. The coroners report said that "His 128kg frame just wasn't built for that sort of gaming"

Doctors have also begun receiving cases of children as young as 12 are getting arthritis in their thumbs, elbows and hips as their bodies cave in under the pressure of intense gaming. "Even boiling an egg for these children will become a chore" not that it will matter as 131166 can be assigned to any speed dial, and even the most arthritic 12 year old can muster the co-ordination to hit one key.

Dean Brown, the Federal Minister for Gaming announced on monday that "we are working with gaming vendors on staggering release dates to give gamers an oppurtunity to finish games, within a reasonable time frame. We are also looking to incorporate timers and other devices that will limit game play to 4-5 hours a day"

Gamers are not happy tho and a picket outside parliment house yesterday turned ugly as flaming controllers and sharpened DVD's were flung at riot police. One gamer said "I haven't been out in 32 weeks, but if these pigs think they can stop me from gaming till i drop then they are violating the most basic of rights of every human being to have a recreation"